12Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh.
but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.
I AM SUICIDAL
I do not wish to live any longer.
Therefore I recommend you pay no attention to anything I have to say that is contrary to the teaching of your church (whatever, whichever or whosoever that may be) unless you are suicidal as well.
Being suicidal causes certain conditions in a person that run contrary to normal thinking. One such condition is a lack of concern for what others may think of me or my opinions. I find that, counter to my disposition, I can tell the truth, no matter how bazaar it may appear, without fear of looking foolish. In fact, I full well assume I will look foolish, and perhaps even insane.
It is natural for a person to fear being contradicted. Contradiction indicates that one is not of popular opinion, therefore, different.
Being suicidal is different, therefore anything built upon this foundation is going to be different as well.
Part of that difference is the rearranging of priorities. Normal people place themselves and their own desires at the top of their list of priorities. Suicidal people give all they have away.
Normal people will do anything to get people to like them and accept them, therefore they follow fashions and are easily influenced. The suicidal care little for fashion or acceptance, and are not easily swayed.
Normal people delight in fellowship and want others around them all the time. Suicidal people wish to be alone, yet at the same time they want to take as many people with them when they go as they can.
I wish to give all away that I possess. The important, the valuable I want to share with everyone; and certainly those who are most important to me.
I have very little, and that which I have is considered by most of little value, therefore hard to give away.
What I have is what I have not earned, nor do I deserve - it was given to me in spite of the fact that I do not deserve it.
But like the old man who spent his life collecting old newspapers, my "collection" is very likely to be discarded when I go.
That which I have collected and value is what I have learned.
And that "wisdom" is what I give to all who will receive it.
There is only one thing important and valuable to my way of thinking, and that is God.
MIRACLES
There are a lot of people who make it an occupation to convince others that the Bible is not true. I pity them on Judgment Day. I'm sure it will be bad enough that they, themselves do not believe; but add to this the fact that they are trying to convince others to turn from their Faith as well.... And if they have been successful in their endeavor....?
These "Theologians" take all the miracles of the Bible and use every foolish argument they can muster in order to explain them away. They especially like to play down the miracles of Moses, like the crossing of the Red Sea. That's easy enough, all they do is claim that it was the Reed Sea that is only a few feet deep that the Hebrews crossed. But then they run into trouble when they try to explain away how that same few feet of water can drown the entire Egyptian Army. And how about that huge pillar of fire that held off that same Army?
Like the miracles of Jesus, which were intended to prove His Messiahship (which did no good with those who were determined to explain them away), the Bible is filled with miracles that prove its Authorship. To me it seems a waste of time to try and explain away the unexplainable, when all they have to do (and in fact is what they are doing) is say that the entire Bible is not true, and therefore is not something worth exploring in the first place.
Instead, it is those who call themselves "Christians," and even "Christian Theologians," which gives them even more position of influence, who are working the hardest to explain away the Bible.
I, for one, consider such a person the most foolish of fools, rather than the wisest of the wise they purport themselves to be. Spending all that time, energy and education to prove that something is not so seems to me like throwing one's life and money into a black hole with nothing whatever to show for it. In Psychology they call such behavior rationalizing, and the harder a person tries to prove something is not so, the more they believe (and fear) that it is.
But my intention is not to condemn these people for their efforts - God will do that; rather I am looking at the yellow brick road they are building for themselves.
Do you remember the song that says; "I swear there ain't no Heaven; but I pray there ain't no hell"? Well, I am wondering what these "Theologians" feel when they hear that song.
And more to the point of this writing, I wonder how hard they pray for miracles to exist when their child or other loved one comes down with a deadly disease. And if that miracle exists, what does it say about all the other miracles, and the very God who causes those miracles?
20O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called: 21Which some professing have erred concerning the faith. Grace be with thee. Amen. (1Tim 6:20-21)
DOUBTS
Quite often I have to thrash through doubts about what I am writing for this website, and the doctrines that I am trying so hard to convince you, and others is true or not true. Sometimes I feel like the Theologians I put down in the article above, as if I am doing no better.
However, as an aside, if I were to be heading the wrong way, and trying to convince others to do the same; that is, to convince others that God does or does not exist; I would much rather be "convicted" of trying to do that which will be a benefit to others and find that God does not exist, than to try and convince others that God does not exist, and find that He does!
But that is not the issue - I have no doubt whatever that what I am "teaching" is absolutely correct. That doubt never enters my mind. God has made Himself all to evident to me; I have no doubt whatever that He exists, and that He has been directing my life from the beginning.
God's existence and His instructions to me is not up for debate.
The problem I have is, not whether what I am doing is true for me, but rather, if it is right for you!
It was so much easier when my website was nothing but morality stories. I know that they are of a benefit to everyone, and are at the most helpful, and at the least entertaining (at least for me as I write them).
But what I am writing now in the Bible section is a long ways from mere entertainment. It can have far reaching consequences.
My writings are much like the Theologian's in that I am putting down almost all established beliefs espoused by the Fundamental (as well as all other) churches as mere malarkey. And I am giving evidence that what I say is true.
Will this hinder someone's Faith? Will it turn them from believing at all? Is there even one person who might read this and be confused?
This is what I wrestle with God about. (I don't wrestle with myself about it, if it was just my decision to make, I wouldn't write them at all; I would just stick to the original plan of innocuous, homey stories.) Besides, taking the position I have has certainly put me at odds with everyone I know, certainly my church whose views I criticize. And those I care most about and want to bring into all God has to offer (that which has been made so clear to me), give me a sideways glance and go about their daily life (not even reading what I write), creating in me an urgency that must remain frustrated.
"No one is going to listen," I cry out to God. "Least of all to me! Why don't You tell all this to the big time ministers who have a broad field of influence? It's all wasted with me!"
But it is in fact not wasted. It has changed my life and given me purpose and the hope that God has intended for us from the beginning. I just wish I could help others to obtain the same understanding and Spiritual Presence that has been given to me.
But I can't. I know that. If Jesus Himself, and all the God inspired and led writers of the Bible can not bring people to the Light, it would be foolish of me to think I could even light a tiny flicker.
It's not up to me to do any converting, any more than it was for the Apostles. All they did was lay out the information as it was given to them by God; and all I can hope to do is point some people to what the Bible is really saying instead of the fairy tales that has been inserted between the pages.
Am I influencing anyone? I really doubt it. And I sincerely hope I'm not. All such influence must come from the Holy Spirit. All I wish to do is point everyone toward the Holy Spirit. After all there are a multitude of cults and missionaries running around door-to-door in effort to influence people into oblivion, or at best to the front door of their church. And there are Denominations trying to convince people to leave the church they are attending to join their own. And there are TV evangelists who are touting the most bazaar and ridiculous things to people spread out all over the world. And these are obviously successful in their quest.
All I am doing is making Truth, as it is being revealed to me, available to all who are looking for it. In fact, I don't ask anyone if they have read anything I have given them, if they have checked out this website, or what they think of any of it.
Nor do they tell me.
My job is not to pressure people. It's just to make the information available.
And I have a hard time dealing with that. I am the type who wants to do it all. I want to get in and make people listen. My Ego wants people to agree with me, to listen to me. My nature causes me to insist that everyone believe what I say and come into the Light; to save their souls from the pit.
And that is what God is dealing with - my nature.
I make my writings available. I don't sell it.
God has brought me into the light. I didn't ask for the Light. I didn't know it even existed!
And anyone He wants to bring into His Light, He will.
And He doesn't need my website, or anything I have written to do so. In fact I think of my writings as one kindergardener who has been in school for three days helping another on his first day.
I'm not the teacher; I only relay as best I can what I have been taught.
I just want to make sure I am doing what I have been given to do as well as I can, and that I only show what I have been instructed to show, and none of my own foolish interpretations.
God brought me into His Light.
And that is part of my frustration and my distress.
I know that none of this material I present means a thing to anyone He has not brought into His light as well.
And then it will only mean something to those who have been looking for Light, and who are willing to be seen unfavorably by those closest to them.
God created this situation for His believers. He even warned us that this would be so. It is just that I never knew that the "World" I was to have to turn away from included the church.
God has to do the calling.
And, as far as I can tell, He only calls those who have turned around and "diligently" seek Him.
So all I can do is tell people that they must "turn around" if they are really seeking God and not just playing "church," because He is behind us as long as we are going our own way and leading our own life. He isn't leading those who are not following Him and who haven't given up their own life.
Those who have been in the Military understand what I am talking about, as do small children who are subject to their parents.
So my advise to all who read this is to continue on as if you had never read a single word I have written. I suggest that you assume I am nothing but a fool and heading in the wrong direction. I believe that, in order for you to make the very best of this life you can, you just follow the dictates of your heart, listen to what your church (or cult, or whatever dictate you might or might not be following), and ignore anything that I, or anyone else says. Don't let anyone confuse you, especially with facts.
There is plenty of evidence in this world to prove that what I say is entirely wrong, so there is no need whatever to feel that I have any influence in your life whatsoever.
And knowing this makes me feel better.
Besides, I know the only ones who are going to give any credence to what I have to say are those who are looking for "titillating" intellectual material to make a doctrine out of (or to add to their roster of "knowledge"), and those who have been called to the Light and find themselves saying; "I was wondering about that."
There! I've got that off my chest.
WHERE IS "TRUTH?"
I read in the newspaper something about truth. Perhaps Truth is in the newspaper.
The other day I read a book and it talked about truth. Perhaps Truth is in books.
Once I stepped on a piece of paper that had the word truth written on it. Perhaps Truth is on the floor.
When I was a child I saw an airplane skywrite the word "truth." Maybe Truth is in the air.
They say we are all born with a God-shaped hole in our heart. I tend to believe this is true.
I wonder if perhaps we are also born with a "Truth" shaped hole as well that we try to fill with all sorts of other garbage in order to feel fulfilled and complete.
I wonder if perhaps both those holes might be one and the same?
MOST IMPORTANT WORKS
Yesterday I was editing one of my writings so that it could be printed as a flyer. As I read it I realized that out of all the writing I have done (and have in mind to do) there are certain ones that stand out in my mind as most important.
Two of these are simple things, hardly more than a child's nursery rhyme, but none the less having a great significance to all who are able go beyond the words to see the meaning. These are The Worm and the Thread; and The Worm and the Caterpillar. I don't know if anyone catches the significance of the stories because out of the hundred or so flyers I have given out I receive little or no comment. And the couple of comments I have received, only said that they liked the story or the writing. Most people turn from friendly to apathetic toward me, so I assume they have read the story. I doubt that The Worm and the Thread could have turned anyone against me, even if they caught the meaning; so I assume they have seen the Bible portion of this website as well.
The Judgment, in my mind is the most important of the pieces so far. If you have not read it, I suggest you do - that is unless you are comfortable with your present Christian experience.
The piece I am working on now is going to be another like The Judgment called "the Harvest." It will also be an important piece, but may be awhile in coming.
Another that is going to take a long time to write is called "Types and Shadows." This work will bring all the other pieces in perspective and fill in the holes that normal church doctrine tries to avoid.
Fantasies, Fables and Traditions is an ongoing series that exposes and explains the methods used by Theologians to "interpret" the Bible, that is, the way they tell us it should be done - and how they come no where near following their own advise. At the same time I use their advise (which in itself is sound) and show what the Bible really says.
All the rest of the pieces on this site are a multitude of different ways of expressing what I have been shown by the Holy Spirit. My hope is that one will "strike a cord" and bring someone to the Holy Spirit for Leadership and Understanding. None of this I put on the web is intended to be considered Truth in itself. Without the Holy Spirit it is nothing but a mishmash of opinion and means less than nothing. As I have said, it is far better for those without the Holy Spirit to stay just as far away from my website as possible and believe none of it they have inadvertently read. If, however, you have read something that has brought you into your calling, than I am happy for you, and for me, because this website has fulfilled its purpose.
EFFECTIVENESS
Is my website effective? Does any of my efforts to bring peoples attention to it do any good?
I doubt it. I strongly doubt that even my best friends bothers to read what I write, though I have them in mind when I write most of the pieces.
In the year that I have had this website up I have received a grand total of zero comments or e-mails, which is a pretty good indication of how much attention and importance it has drawn and been given.
Do I get discouraged?
You bet!
Will I quit?
Not on your life.
There is one person who gains a great deal from what I write. Someone who learns Eternal Truths step-by-step as I write. Someone who greatly appreciates what I write and learns from it at every reading.
Someone to whom all this information has given Abundant Joy and Hope.
Me.
APOLOGY
This has been a rather whiney, self-pity party piece. I hope you will forgive my transgression on your patience. Sometimes a release of what is inside me is needed in order to move ahead. Thus, this piece.
Thank you for your indulgence.
A QUANDARY P.S.
I just realized that I am in quandary.
I just saw a website that is a bit similar to mine, which had a lot of posts and replies.
Many people highly praised what that person was writing, and many others gave favorable comments and followed suit with what he was saying.
At first a felt a twinge of jealousy - not that I wanted what he had, but wanting responses.
Then I realized that if I had such responses, with many people agreeing with what I say (in the intellectual rather than Spiritual vein that I saw on that website) I would be led to highly doubt that I am on the right track, at least as far as the way I am expressing what I believe.
Mine is not an intellectual endeavor; what I say can not be understood with the head, it has to be taught to the heart by the Holy Spirit.
So I discovered that if I get what I want, than I won't want what I get. And if I don't get what I want, then I am in doubt of that which I have.
In other words; I cannot be pleased!
Therefore, I should be happy with what I've got, and forget that which I think I want.
WORM HOLES
Why is one person taken into God's service and not another? Why is one person given the Holy Spirit and not another? Why is one person shown the Truth of God, and not another?
This is a puzzle.
Jesus made it abundantly clear that the more worthy a person thinks they are, and the higher they try to raise themselves above others; and the more they think they know - the less He can use them.
The Scribes, and the Pharisees, and the Sadducees, and the Priests were always being put down and castigated by Jesus. And these were the best of the religious folk of the day. In fact, these were the Theologians, the Preachers, and the religious Teachers of the day.
And a rich young ruler who by his own admission had done everything the Bible said to do, asked Jesus what he must do to go to Heaven; and was told he had to be just the opposite of what he had been striving to become.
The higher a person is in their own eyes, and in the eyes of others; the lower he is in the eyes of God.
Then Jesus traveled far and wide: "the highways and byways," the slums of Israel, if you will, and told the rabble, the outcasts, the lepers, the tax collectors, the prostitutes that they would see the Kingdom of God.
Those who did nothing would be rewarded; while those who spent their entire life working would be condemned.
The ways of God certainly are a mystery.
Build yourself a mountain on which reach God, or to sit and overlook the world, and lose out in the end.
But dig yourself a hole in which to wallow in the mud, and find God and Eternal Life.
My suspicion is that the deeper we dig our wormhole, the more we will appreciate that which God has to offer, and the more likely we will be to use it. Those who have been able to manage on their own, that is build their own little anthill, or crawl comfortably on the ground, will not seek the Lord, or truly recognize Him when he appears to them.
Jesus said "He who is forgiven much, will love much." I guess most people do not truly feel unlovable nor the need to be forgiven very much
BIBLE STUDY
"In order to help in this Bible study, here is a booklet with question and answers. This week we will be studying chapter one of the book, so study the book and that portion of the Bible covered in the book and answer the questions as precisely as you can. Next week we will discuss what you have learned."
"Is this book you gave us accurate? I mean, I don't want to be learning someone else's theories. What if the guy who wrote this book doesn't know what he's talking about?"
"I can assure you that this book is doctrinally sound. You won't be learning any false doctrine here."
"But I can see by just glancing through this book that some of the things he says is different from what the church I used to go to taught. How can that be? I mean, isn't truth, truth? I mean, the Bible doesn't change, does it? What it says in one church should be what it says in another shouldn't it?"
"It's just a difference in doctrine. What you were being taught in your former church was wrong doctrine. You can trust what you are shown in this book."
"But I don't want to be learning "doctrine," whatever that is. I want to learn what the Bible says, what God says."
"Doctrine just means "Teachings," it isn't a naughty word. Jesus and the Apostles taught doctrine, and called it such."
"Well, then, why can't I just learn Jesus' doctrine, and the Apostle's doctrine instead of this guys?"
"This book doesn't change the teachings of Jesus or the Apostles, it just explains them and makes them more easily understood."
"Well, why is it this guy can understand what the Bible says, and my other church can't? Didn't Jesus and the Apostles make themselves clear enough? Isn't that why Jesus said He would be sending the Holy Spirit so that I can understand the Bible without someone else having to decipher it? Isn't that what you just got through saying today is the problem with the Catholic church and the cults is that someone is standing between God and us? And isn't that what Jesus got on the Pharisees about, that they were interpreting the Scriptures and trying to add to them so they could be better understood?"
"You know, I think what would be the best thing for you to do is go back to your former church and bug them with all your foolish questions."
ONE PLUS ONE IS TWO
Is this true?
Sometimes; sometimes not.
In the above scenario we have a student questioning the teacher and that which he is teaching.
That is a no-no. We should never do that!
To question the teacher will very likely get you laughed at, at best, and a bad grade or even expelled at worst.
So we learn to not question our teacher or what he is teaching, but to just sit back quietly and accept that which is put before us. And by doing so, we, without realizing it, are making learning a mechanical thing that is nothing but information without substance or importance; "Null and void" in other words. It becomes a matter of opinion rather than a matter of truth.
One man's opinion is another man's belief.
Sometime, before we were taught to just accept what we are told, there was something in us that questioned whatever did not make sense, that did not fit in with the rest of the things we were learning. Children, in their "Innocent" stage are especially known for this. They ask many questions, most of which they are given simple answers with which to shut them up, or fairy tales like the Great Pumpkin, or Storks, or Santa Clause which is designed to satisfy their curiosity.
The child looks up in the sky and sees a hundred birds fly over. "What's that?" he says pointing in the air.
"That's a flock of geese," he is told.
"Just one?" he asks. Yet he sees a hundred birds.
The child watches his father plant an orange in the ground, and in a short time he sees a hundred oranges growing from that planted orange.
The child likes puppies, therefore he plants his favorite puppy in the ground in hopes of getting a hundred.
The child takes his favorite balloon and adds air to it, and it explodes. One plus one equals nothing.
Mother brings home two dogs. After a while there are five more dogs running around the house. One plus one equals seven.
Jesus questioned the Bible experts of His day all the time, and like teachers of today, they became so angry at Him that they wanted to expel Him, which they ultimately did.
Fortunately Jesus was not so dogmatic or egocentric in His teachings. He encouraged questions and answered them all, and, unless the question was asked in effort to tempt Him, He rarely belittled the question.
Jesus realized He was saying things that could not possibly make sense to the carnal mind, and would need to be questioned. Therefore, Jesus respected the question and the questioner.
Like children, which Jesus called them, His disciples often questioned Him on his teaching.
And how thankful we are that they did!
Had they not asked about Heaven, about the End Times, about the Parables - had they not been bold enough to exhibit their child-like ignorance, we would have very little understanding of God, the Bible, or of Jesus' mission.
Unfortunately we have lost that boldness to show our ignorance, to question what we have been taught, to take the chance of looking foolish, or outcast, or ignorant. We are afraid of making a mistake, which is tragic because mistakes are but a step toward perfection.
The child experiments with what information he or she has been given.
Eventually the child learns that asking questions is not considered "adult" or "mature" which is something they long to become.
So they stop asking questions.
Therefore, they stop learning; they just gather information.
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